on my heart

these past few weeks, my head + heart have been flooded with memories of long ago. it seems i have this uncanny ability to remember the smallest of details from back then. i love the details. but it is also proving to be painful, too, to re-live all of those precious moments and realize they are so far away from where i am right now.

i'm awestruck by the fact that it's been 8 years since i graduated high school.
the girl i was back then looks much different than the girl i am today. sure, lots of her is the same, but as time passes and things change and we endure loss, i think it is inevitable we are going to come out of those experiences a bit different.

i'm finding it's so easy to get caught up in the what-ifs. to replay scenarios over and over and to wonder how or if things could have turned out differently.
i do take comfort in knowing that i am exactly where i should be right now, according to God's plan. that everything in my life has happened because it was supposed to happen.

and i'm remembering to trust.

available here: https://www.etsy.com/listing/122273574/trust-mixed-media-paper-print

that's what i'm hoping for you, too, friends. that you remember to trust. xxo

a box full of memories

you guys. i am full on loving the perpetual calendar i (spontaneously) made at the beginning of this year. i had no idea it would turn out to be so nourishing for my soul.

it's really just a box full of memories.

what i love so much about this idea is the focusing + appreciating + documenting the little moments of our lives. what we ate for breakfast one morning. a treasured conversation. the way the light filters into my studio on sunny days. i know i'll look back on these fragmented moments and be so happy. sweet memories.

mom came over on new years day, and this is what we worked on! she had seen it done + fell in love with the idea... of course you know i loved it too. i've always been a big fan of journaling - but what is nice about this is it's much quicker. you have one line on a note card to fill in each day. easy as pie.

any box will do, really. mine used to hold cigars.

so each day, write down something down. something that made you smile or laugh. a breakfast, or dinner that made your tastebuds dance. something new you tried. write about a bike ride or a hike. you get the idea. 

you'll do this again the next year, and the year after. and in ten years, you'll have a box full of memories. lovely memories. 

it's only been one month of recording details...and i can already see patterns. the hubby and i tend to do the same thing, over and over. i'm not complaining. i love our quiet life. but i have noticed it's making me want to do more! go on more road trips. try new recipes for dinner. get off the couch and live. 

but more than that, make the most of our moments. :) they all count. 

xxo

coaster art

i think it was in 2010, when i was just discovering my passion for art...i was at my parent's house for a weekend, and the only thing my mom had for creating on was a set of coasters. it was so much fun for me, i immediately went to the craft store and bought close to a dozen of those coaster sets that come in an unfinished wooden box. have you seen them?

anyway. after i returned back to my house, of course there were canvases to work on. and the coasters were forgotten. years went by. the coaster sets stayed cooped up in a drawer, taking up space. so a few months ago, i gave them away! (i've been on a real purging kick lately. feels good to have free space.)

and then, just last month, i got a request...to create art on a coaster set. what are the chances?!

lucky for me, the craft store still had them in stock:).

so here is a peek at what i've been working on lately! they each have a beautiful hafiz saying on them. this last one is my very favorite.

 happy weekend to you, lovelies! it's already shaping up nicely over here, which i do believe is a good sign for weekend goodness to come. we're at the coast for a little getaway, and our fingers are crossed the weatherman is right! it's beautiful here.

what are you up to this weekend?

xxo

i have a confession.

is it just me, or is anyone else out there horrible at keeping photos organized?
what a vicious cycle. they aren't organized (+ i'm too overwhelmed to know where to begin) so i leave them in their haphazard state, and i leave them in their haphazard state because they aren't organized. at some point, this has got to stop.

 i just spent close to three hours this evening organizing, deleting, + cleaning my files..and i just barely skimmed the tip of the iceberg. (notice how i decide to undertake this huge project the moment i have looming art deadlines. escapist?;)) anyway. i found these photos from a few weekends back. i'm just starting to learn the ins and outs of my beautiful new camera, so this was just for fun. but i LOVE how they turned out. and, not one of them is edited!

it is a lot of trial and error lately. which used to drive me NUTS, but i'm beginning to accept the beauty of the struggle + the amazing feeling after you figure something out for yourself. some of the pictures are a little blurry. (but now i know what i was doing wrong because of this day, hooray!).

these are antlers the hubby found in the woods a few years ago. next to my beloved vintage book collection. i love the colors, + the names of these babies. eeek!

oh! speaking of collections - i also have a cake stand collection. it all began with our wedding. mom and i scoured every thrift shop in town for enough to hold goodies on our dessert buffet (yes, we LOVE dessert! especially autumn desserts. pumpkin roll? yes please.). i like using them now in less expected places. like here! for my perfume bottles.
my favorite scent, (in case you were wondering) happens to be 'reaction' by kenneth cole. heavenly. 

but seriously friends, please tell me! what is your secret for keeping your photos organized? this girl could use a little help. :)
xxo

embracing the cracks.

i wasn't strong enough to try to hide the tears when mom left yesterday afternoon.
i suppose i always feel that way when our time together is done. but tears? not usually.
and then, i couldn't stop crying once she was gone. or this morning in the shower.

it is undeniable- her way of making me feel better. just by being there.
part of me doesn't feel worthy of so much love.

but a much bigger part feels so incredibly thankful. 
she cleaned my house. and brought fresh flowers. cozy turquoise socks + a soft, pretty blanket. lots of soups and smoothies. and magazines (!!!).
but above all else, just knowing she was there had healing powers like nothing else.
(and so did all of your love + positive thoughts. thank you, dear ones!)




what's strange is that all this emotion is showing up now, you know - sort of after the fact.
the day of surgery, even the tranquilizers they had me on weren't strong enough. as i was sitting in that chair waiting for the procedure to happen, i fought back tears that didn't come. even the discomfort in the days after didn't do it for me.

mostly, i think i'm just feeling so thankful.



it's not wisdoms i had pulled - what happened was: they cut tissue from the roof of my mouth, and stitched it to my bottom gums.
for me, i've realized it's more than just the physical act of cutting a piece of me - but it has an emotional aspect too. and here it all comes out.

and, it's just me missing her. like crazy.

it's sometimes hard to accept help from someone, even a family member. i'm realizing that about myself, at least. at a time that feels most vulnerable, i'm so loving this quote from leonard cohen:

ring the bells that still can ring
forget your perfect offering
there is a crack in everything
that's how the light gets in.

thank you dear mati, for reminding me of this beautiful truth.

xxo