i'm not sure what happens.

you begin each day with the best intentions
energy, inspiration.
and then, i'm not sure what happens...
maybe you hear a sad song or maybe those demons in your mind wont stop telling you lies
like you're not worthy

whatever it is, you realize the
hours
are
passing

and you're just stuck.

and all you want to do is eat another chocolate bar
hide under the covers
listen to the rain fall


it's okay to let it all drop sometimes
everyday does not have to be the most productive day of your life

and sometimes downtime can heal your soul
you know this, yet you continue to beat yourself up when you need rest

because you're working towards your dreams
you feel like you should never stop
i suppose this is a good thing (but we all need to rest sometimes)

27 candles

it makes me incredibly happy that a perfect birthday night for him means these things:

a drizzly afternoon bike ride
green balloons + streamers
27 wishes
a lemon cake (with sprinkles!)
pizza + movies + togetherness
   
feeling so thankful for this man + that we get to travel through life together.

xo

dream catcher making

Ribbons + lace + buttons + embroidery floss + vintage doilies.
These are the things that you would see scattered all over my living room on any given day...if you happened to stop by unannounced. ;)

I'm in love with this process.
Beautiful colors + moving hands + inspiration galore.

Here's a peek!

xo

late summer at our house

warrior rock by my dear friend catina jane!

gorgeous artwork by cori dantini

My hubby loves to travel to Alaska for a little 'man time' during August each year.

A favorite thing to do while he is away is rearrange + nest + treasure hunt. I tend to take a break from routine while he's gone. It is nice to have a reprieve from what is 'normal' every once in awhile.
I tend to miss him almost immediately after I drop him off at the airport...but, I suppose what they say is true- absence makes the heart grow fonder. :)

Being home alone for over a week means sleeping in. Or waking up before the sun to paint. It means eating cereal for any meal that I feel like, and having Gilmore Girl marathons way more than I care to tell.  It also means coffee at Rosie's. Actually sitting there. People watching or reading a book, or writing. Pure bliss!

What are some of your favorite things to do with alone time?

xo

say anything

“But oh! the blessing it is to have a friend to whom one can speak fearlessly on any subject; 

 with whom one's deepest as well as one's most foolish thoughts come out simply and safely.

Oh, the comfort - the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person - 

 having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all right out, just as they are, chaff and grain together; 

certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and then with the breath of kindness blow the rest away.”

-Dinah Craik

xo

wild beauty

“Sometimes I need only to stand wherever I am to be blessed.”
-Mary Oliver

 

Queen Anne's Lace is out in full force these days.
The sun is beginning to give off that late-summer autumn glow.

I always feel so much anticipation during August. So much beauty surrounds. And so much beauty is coming.

Vintage Bedroom Pretties

Some Saturdays, the stars align + you hit the vintage treasure jackpot.

And when I say jackpot, I mean that I got these pillows + pillowcases for 50 cents each.
I was alone in this person's home (it was 4pm on the last day of the sale), doing a happy dance + squealing with delight + wishing you were there to grab all of the goodies I had to pass up!

Did you do any treasure hunting this weekend? Do tell!

xo

allow

there's something about a quiet house that fills my soul, so. 
when i finally give in to that longing. to turn off the music. or the tv.
to put my phone down.

i'm alive again. spiritually + emotionally.

i think sometimes i'm running. or hiding, rather. perhaps from my own thoughts. almost as if i'm scared to be alone with them. but the ache grows too painful to continue with the chaos + noise + distraction for too long.

the quiet is a beautiful thing. a space for healing + growing + dreaming + processing. a place to be free. 

you don't have to feel chained up. you don't have to respond right away. you don't always have to have it all together. or be everything to everyone.

allow yourself to feel the freedom + glory of just being.

xo

a happy 26th celebration

a sea of balloons
my first delicious cup of 26
fresh flowers that look like autumn
pretty glass jars + wildflowers from a walk with two of my favorites
sweet birthday wishes
hopeful + happy (yet tired) eyes

not pictured here:
best wacky cake in the world (with sprinkles! thanks mom)
a new farmers market basket!
holding hands
warm hugs + kind words
my love + gratitude for you all

xo

hope + a future

"for I know the plans I have for you" declares the Lord

"plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future".

-Jeremiah 2:11

One of my favorite Bible verses!

Prints available here!

Hold Nothing Back

Happy August, friends! It is a new month (one of the best, in my opinion - it is my birthday month, after all!), and I'm celebrating small steps over here. I can already feel so much goodness in store.

For the first time in over a month, yesterday I (finally!!) felt a bit of my old energy returning. No longer did my eyes burn + water from the moment i woke up in the morning. No longer did I feel I could sleep for a week straight. No longer did I wonder how (or if) I would make it through the day.

My heart was seriously bursting with so much thankfulness + happiness I felt like weeping.
'Little things' like energy are so easily taken for granted, until it's gone. It has been one entire month since I've exercised. Since I've had a drink. Since I've been able to take vitamins. Since I've felt even a resemblance of my old happy artist self. I know I still have a ways to go, but I'm getting there.

So much of that I owe to you, friends. You and your kindness. Your tenderness. Your uplifting messages + packages + snail mail. The support I've felt as I've traveled through these unknown waters has been unreal, and I feel as though I owe you everything. I could not have done it without each of you.

Our experiences, good + bad alike, offer so much perspective. It had been way too long since I've been able to spend an entire day in my studio. And yesterday was heaven, for me. A quiet house, and nothing on the agenda except a date with my favorite colors + paintbrushes. It was as though I was looking at all the same things through different eyes. More thankful eyes. More knowing eyes.

And I know now that life is too short + too important to hold back. I want to hold nothing back. xo