Monday, November 12, 2012

revealing truth on anxiety.

hello friends.
i'm doing the best that i can to take extra good care today. to be extra gentle with my fragile self. i'm learning to listen to my body when it tells me to slow down.

as i type this, i'm sitting in my jammies. the candles are lit. the fire is blazing.
all is quiet and peaceful. especially the rain falling outside.

i want to share something with you that has always made me feel too embarrassed or vulnerable to share in the past. which is silly. because there must be lots of other people out there like me, who live with it as well - a little thing called anxiety.
it's never been formally diagnosed. but nonetheless, i know it's there.
it reminds me every single day. no matter how much i exercise. or eat right. or get enough sleep. or cut out coffee. or cut back on coffee. or take vitamins. there it is! this obstacle to overcome and conquer on a daily basis.

people's reactions blow me away, when they learn it is something i live with. apparently i've gotten exceptionally good at faking it. but the ugly reality is, sometimes it is debilitating. sometimes it prevents me from going places and doing things. sometimes, when i feel sick, the combination of the two makes it too hard to fight through a day in the office. lately, things have gotten worse- like there is a giant elephant is sitting on my chest. i'm learning this is not something to ignore.

i was gently reminded by a very wise woman this morning that it is okay to take good care of ourselves. in fact, it is a necessity. in a world that never sleeps, where our to-do lists are miles long, the best thing we can do is listen to what our body needs. and today, my body needs to be home. :)

i'm pushing away the guilt. the thoughts of failure. and focusing on the good. my kitty sleeping next to me. a steaming cup of coffee in my favorite mug.

and! i'm trying new, natural ways to make myself better. today is my third day of taking st. john's wort..i'll let you know how it goes.

here's to taking good care.
my hope is that you do the same. always.



  1. Anxiety is actually very easy to hide. Because you have anxiety about having anxiety and it's this vicious cycle that never ends. That anxiety turns into making others feel anxiety and so you learn to hide it and it becomes manageable (for some) because there is always one goal; never let them know. So it encompasses all your other anxieties.

    Psych major, makes me kind of hard to live with ;)

    Be careful with the SJW, high doses or taking it over a period of time will hurt you. If you're looking for more natural ways to help yourself can I recommend some teas for you? Lavendar, Chamomile (at night) or Passion Flower teas can help curb your anxiety. Try a cup in the morning instead of coffee.

    I'm also a VERY big fan of gemstones and jewelry. A lot of cultures believe that these stones have powers. Lithium quartz would be right up your ally for anxiety.
    This is a really nice looking pendant, that is inexpensive.

    Carry it with you or wear it and whenever you feel some anxiety, just play with your necklace. It'll look like a nervous tick to anyone else but as you're playing with it just funnel all your anxiety into the necklace and then it's gone. Try some of this and if it helps it helps.


    1. Sara Ivy - you have the best ideas and recommendations!
      I'm definitely interested in learning more about gemstones - that sounds amazing!
      And so does Lavender tea.

      Thank you so much. :)

  2. God Bless the sweet girl who posted above.

  3. Ohhhhh, Mary berry. You have NO IDEA how much I can relate with this post. I have been diagnosed with anxiety, and over the past few years (since having my babies) it has gotten worse. Sometimes it will go away for a while (sometimes a long while), and then come back with no warning or excuse (RUDE). I just want you to know I totally understand and love you to pieces. <3

    It's a common problem, and you can, and will, get through it. Love you.

    1. Jen,

      You are unbelievably sweet and I appreciate you so much.
      I love you too!
      (Excited for this weekend, yahoo!)

  4. You are not alone. Not even close. I promise.

    At one point or another, everyone will experience anxiety, unless they've been medicated (constantly) since the age of 12. But in the more likely instance they haven't, they will experience a period in their life when anxiety has taken over, and nothing seems to be finished. Every book has a bookmark in it, the clothes never seem to be clean and put away at the same time, and you will wonder when it will end.

    Well, it doesn't. But anxiety isn't from never being finished. Once you find that peace, the anxiety will slowly but surely go away.

    I will keep you in my constant prayers, to help you rest your pretty head and to know that there's always tomorrow (to finish the dishes, to fold the clothes, to "finish" that list). Trust in God and let Him give your heart peace.

    I love you, my dear friend.

    1. The best advice from one of the best girls I know.
      This means so much, thank you for the prayers.

      I love you, sweet girl!