i'm doing the best that i can to take extra good care today. to be extra gentle with my fragile self. i'm learning to listen to my body when it tells me to slow down.
as i type this, i'm sitting in my jammies. the candles are lit. the fire is blazing.
all is quiet and peaceful. especially the rain falling outside.
i want to share something with you that has always made me feel too embarrassed or vulnerable to share in the past. which is silly. because there must be lots of other people out there like me, who live with it as well - a little thing called anxiety.
it's never been formally diagnosed. but nonetheless, i know it's there.
it reminds me every single day. no matter how much i exercise. or eat right. or get enough sleep. or cut out coffee. or cut back on coffee. or take vitamins. there it is! this obstacle to overcome and conquer on a daily basis.
people's reactions blow me away, when they learn it is something i live with. apparently i've gotten exceptionally good at faking it. but the ugly reality is, sometimes it is debilitating. sometimes it prevents me from going places and doing things. sometimes, when i feel sick, the combination of the two makes it too hard to fight through a day in the office. lately, things have gotten worse- like there is a giant elephant is sitting on my chest. i'm learning this is not something to ignore.
i was gently reminded by a very wise woman this morning that it is okay to take good care of ourselves. in fact, it is a necessity. in a world that never sleeps, where our to-do lists are miles long, the best thing we can do is listen to what our body needs. and today, my body needs to be home. :)
i'm pushing away the guilt. the thoughts of failure. and focusing on the good. my kitty sleeping next to me. a steaming cup of coffee in my favorite mug.
and! i'm trying new, natural ways to make myself better. today is my third day of taking st. john's wort..i'll let you know how it goes.
here's to taking good care.
my hope is that you do the same. always.